Thoughts on Editing

I am in the middle of rewriting hell. In a word.. HATE. I hate editing. I suck at it. In order to do a proper edit, you have to be able to look at the work with fresh eyes. This is something I am unable to do with the things I write. I am simply too close to it. I am as attached to the characters I create as I am to my own children..... almost. I love the stories I have written. I reread them and laugh, cry and gasp like I am reading it for the first time. SO I stumble through my editing with a cringe.

Thank GOD for the kindness of others.

I won a 25 page edit from an amazing lady and it was such a relief to read her thoughts and comments! Everything she pointed out were things that had been nagging the back of my mind for months! The comma splices, garbled sentence structure; the info dumps... But I was completely stumped at trying to figure out how to change it.

Thank you Rebecca Hamilton!

I have renewed energy about the beginning of my book! I have been given a wonderful push in the right direction and just enough of a wrap on the knuckles for the wrong I have done. For those of you that know Rebecca, I am sure you will understand my enthusiasm about her critiques. For those that do not know her, let me tell you something...... This lady really really knows her stuff!

The points she made on the fluff in the beginning of my books was backed with open and honest thoughts about what was important and what could be pulled out and left in the notes pile. She made a point to let me know what worked for the story line and what my strong points were (I think it was to protect my ego!). I even received some amazing ideas for changes that got my brain working and the voices of the characters in my head buzzing and chattering excitedly with ideas of their own.

So now I have given myself homework. I am going to have a brand new version of the first 3 chapters written with a new perspective and (hopefully) a better. stronger foundation that is worthy of my characters. I am looking forward to sharing it so much!

I owe you big time Rebecca! Somehow, I will figure out a way to pay you back for your kindness, honesty and time.

My latest project

SO I having a reoccurring nightmare that I am having lots of fun experiencing. I love nightmares! I love the color and sounds, how it seems like you are living every second. Someones typical nightmare are my favorite dreams of all. I have decided that I am going to write my dream out. Who knows, it might make a cool story! I posted the opening page here for everyone to take a gander at. Let me know what you think!!! I am thinking it is going to be in 3rd person POV which is something I have never done. Hopefully it works, but if not then I will be changing the POV to Cara, the heroine. Please, if you read it, let me know what you think! Never attempted horror before :)

Dar

It's been five years since the world fell victim to the virus. It didn't happen gradually either. One day everyone was going about their business, working, raising a family, growing older. The next people were dropping lies flies everywhere. The media didn't even have a chance to warn anyone. The CDC said it was an extremely virulent strain of the flu. Fucking liars.

No, it was death. Too bad it wasn't permanent. See, people died fast, terrifyingly fast. Only problem? They didn't really die like everyone thinks people should. No. They... changed. It's like vampirism. People waking up hungry, but not for food... for blood. But it's not vampirism, they don't have long teeth, they can go out in the sun all they want and they aren't invincible. They just want your blood.

After the virus spread throughout the world, the surviving governments discovered that about 7 percent of the world's population had a natural immunity to the virus that people had dubbed “Suckfest”. Just seven percent of the entire population was able to come into contact with the infected and survive. In an instant, those people became targets. Hunted down and gutted in laboratories like lab rats, the various governments around the world took these people and tried to find a cure to a virus that they helped create.

In late 2011 a large group of international scientists got together to try to create a cure for AIDS. America thought that if the world pooled their resources of scientific knowledge together, then a cure would be possible. And in the mountains of Northern Washington, they thought they had. A scientist out of Norway and a bio engineer from Russia created a virus that attacked only the HIV virus within a person's body. It was a clear success in a test tube. Being only human, they jumped right into human testing... and that's where it went all wrong.

The virus reacted with human DNA and mutated. It bonded with every germ contained in the human body and attacked from within, killing them and bringing them back as blood junkies, a slave to the virus' unending demand for fresh fuel. They tried to contain it. They tried to stop it. But they failed. It got out and spread like wild fire. Mankind became the minority... the hunted.

My Brain Hurts

I am having one of those day where my brain won't shut up! I worked all night and came home wanting to have a nice little nap and instead I ended up spending an hour on my computer writing. For those that know me, I unfortunately did not spend any of that time on my rewrite. I am trying to get it done, but the ideas I have for the second book of my series won't leave me alone and are demanding all of my attention. Who am I to deny the voices in my head!

So I am spending time with Emily and Katie and I am reaching a point where I am really really starting to miss Lucas. How weird is it that I am missing a character I created and which I know will be coming back.... eventually. I am sure other writers have similar problems I do. You create a group of characters that invade your brain, hang some drapes and declare that your mind is now theirs and so they can do with it whatever they choose. Before I began writing Eternal - Beginnings, I had a fairly normal brain that came with its own soundtrack. Now, I get to enjoy an inner monologue that is no longer in my own voice and excludes me completely.

I am starting to wonder about my personal sanity....

I had hoped that when I finished the first book that Emily and Katie and Lucas and the rest of my imaginary friends would leave me alone for a bit and let me get some independent thinking done, but sadly I have been proven wrong. I am instead plagued with nagging doubts about what I have put my heroine through and what is still to come. I have actually lost a few days of sleep thinking about the impending crisis that I am throwing at Emily's feet. I would really like to set them aside for at least a day or two, but my brain is no longer my own and it seems I am no longer in control.

Maybe I should just give in to the inevitable and let them remain in control. Since they seem to be able to handle crisis better than I do, it might not be such a bad idea. But I miss my soundtrack. I miss being able to get really annoying songs stuck in my head till I can no longer stand it and end up singing it to coworkers who seem to love to glare at me. I can no longer annoy my children as well as I used to (immunity and all that crap) so they are the only group I really have left.

So I am going to continue fighting for control of my thoughts. Maybe once I finish book #2 I will get some control back. Yeah..... right. Considering that the end of #2 will only be the half way point for Emily's journey, I think it is safe to say that I will be a outside observer to my brain for quite some time....

Have a wonderful Hump Day! Don't let the voices in your head talk you into anything too stupid and I shall see you on the flip side!
Dar

The end

So today is my last day of vacation and I am conflicted. On one hand I am thankful that I have a job to go back to and that I enjoy the job that I do; it is fun, the people I work with are kind of like a family and I have a job that I leave feeling I got something done! On the other hand, I feel like I am perfectly capable of having at least another week for rest and relaxation! Okay, maybe not relaxation, but another week of not having to answer to someone else is very appealing.

So why am I blogging about this? Well, I have been thinking of various types of endings we all do throughout our lives and it kind of got me down. We say goodbye to loved ones and friends, bid a fond farewell to our childhood and our innocence, leave behind fantastical dreams, say adieu to our figures or our hair and eventually.... our memories. It's the last one that makes me saddest.

I have wonderful memories of growing up and becoming a mother and the idea of them slipping away makes me want to cry. I don't want to forget the times I spent making mistakes growing up, or all of the little things that have made me, well..... me.

So how can I stop this? Sadly, I can't. There is no magic pill to stop moving forward. There is no cure for getting older and your body aging. So I shall continue to document everything - either through pictures or writing - so that when I get too old to remember the time I spent in Italy with my family, or the feel of my children's hugs; there will still be proof in the world that I was here... I existed.... I loved and was loved in return.

It is a comfort to know that there is a record of my existence beyond tax forms and paycheck stubs. To know that there are people out there that know me and can continue to let the world know that I made a difference, no matter how small it may be. I made a ripple in this massive pond of life. It's nice to know!

Heavy stuff to think of on the last day of vacation, I know. But I guess if I am  going to have an existential crisis for the simple reason that I have to go back to work again, I guess it could have been worse!

Have a great week, hug your loved ones and I will see you on the flip side!
Dar

My middle child.... 2.0

So I am sure that my middle child has been having lots of fun being the only one not picked on by mommy's blog.... Ha ha! Not anymore!!

My middle child is currently 11 and is probably the most like me out of all of them. She is silly and spunky and has a very interesting take on life. I used to tell her that her own private Idaho must have some really cool rides. She looks at life with complete indifference. Things go south on her and she just shrugs her shoulders and smiles. I wish I could be like her. Instead of being a glass half-empty or half-full type of person, she has simply thrown the glass away and created her own path.

I swear, if the Zombie Apocalypse was to happen today, she would be sitting on the roof of the house with us, completely ignoring the zombies and trying to get everyone to join in on a game of Go Fish... It wouldn't matter to her that things were going to hell in a hand basket cause she knows that -somehow- everything is going to work out.

Now that is a way to approach life.

Out of all three of my kids, she is the one I worry the most about. She seems to subscribe to the "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet" mentality. She is the one person I know who would actually approach an angry dog, just to see if maybe it wants to be given some love. Her attention spam is short and she has the scars to prove it. She has caused her sister to bleed on more than one occasion because she was pulling her in a wagon and all of the sudden decided to take off to chase a squirrel - not bothering to let go of the wagon before she did.

She takes dance classes on a weekly basis.... I feel bad for the instructor. She tries to pay attention to the steps she is supposed to be learning, and she does really really well........ until the music starts. Then she is off in her own world with the music, not even bothering to follow the other students as they try to perform the steps they had all just learned. I am surprised she hasn't been asked to leave the class, but the instructor is a friend of the family, so maybe he would feel bad if he did.

My son and her have the most combustible relationship too. One moment they are having some cuddle time, watching one of the thousands of movies we own and the next minute, they are standing 10 feet apart and screaming at each other like they are trying to be heard by people living in Utah. Not a lot makes Lorna mad, but her brother has certainly found her button and seems to love pushing it HARD.

So there you have it people. A break down of the 3 gremlins that have moved into my home and insist that I feed them multiple times a day. I am not sure what I will write about next, but I know that with the life I live.... it will definitely be interesting...

See you on the flip side!
Dar

Eye rolling.... the beginning...

My oldest daughter turned 13 years old this year. I now have a ready made excuse for my gray hair! Unfortunately she has started to develop all of the teenage super powers that are destined to drive a parent to start seriously researching boarding schools. My favorite??? Eye rolling. What the hell is this for? Does it accomplish anything, other than making me want to resort to grounding her for kicks? No, not really.

Now, I am not a normal person. Far from it actually. I tried acting normal for a full day once and everyone I worked with and my family kept asking me what was wrong and wondering if I was mad at them. I love being goofy and silly. It keeps me young and is cheep entertainment. Now my oldest daughter USED to be a good sport about me being a weird mom. Now whenever I try to bite her arm or pick on her, I get The Eye Roll... She also sighs a lot like she is suffering from having to be related to me.

I can't help but wonder if she is ever going to grow out of this. I would hate to be one of those parents that end up having a gremlin in their house that they can't laugh with. At least my son likes my goofy self.

There is another annoying thing that is happening at my home since she has approached puberty... Boys are now hanging out in my front yard! They spend the day lounging in my grass and trying to teach my coordination-challenged daughter how to ride a skateboard. When my children go outside to play and hang out with their friends, it makes me happy that they can hang out here; but why does it have to be all boys! I am torn between being happy that there are other people her age that agree with me that she is pretty and wanting to hit them all with a stick to make them go away.

Since when did I give any of my child permission to grow up!! And how on earth did she end up more mature than me?!?!?!

Maybe if I sat on her and licked her face she would loosen up.........

My son

I have a 5 year old son who is, quite possibly, the strangest child I have ever met in my entire life. He lives in a completely different universe than the rest of us and is perfectly happy to give you a tour... If you can keep up.

He is obsessed with Transformers. I do not use that term lightly either. I will be having a nice, quiet day on the couch; completely immersed in a book and all the sudden my little angel comes running into the room, grabs my hand and starts pulling me from the couch.

"Mom! You have to run!" He yells loudly from about 6 inches away, causing me to flinch.

"Why?"

"Megatron is outside and I have to protect you! Go to my room.... I got this." I bite my lip as he pulls a straw from his back, which acts as his sword or gun or bow and arrow or whatever other weapon he may need to fight the random bad guys that try to invade my home at very inopportune times.

So he spends days upon days fighting bad guys. They come as handy excuses too. Ask him to clean his room? Nope, there's a dragon on his bed that won't let him. Help me sort his clothes from his sisters? Yeah, can't do that either, owing to the invisible death ray carrying midget people that invaded my dryer when I wasn't looking and have claimed the clothing as their own.

I swear to you I am not making this up.

Maybe you are thinking that I at least get some reprieve when he is asleep??? Ooooooohhhhhh no. The child makes sound effects in his sleep. Occasionally he will even start kicking. Not much fun when he is plastered against my rib cage.

When he isn't fighting the bad guys that creep around my windows 24/7, he likes to create superhero costumes to wear around the house, since mommy is very mean and won't let him go out in public as his alter egos. My favorite hands down is "Super Michael". Super Michael wears bright red pants with a pair of blue underwear over them "Cause it looks cooler that way". A plain white tee shirt and his snow boots complete his basic attire, but the costume is not complete without his sisters pink blanket as a cape and a pair of Harry Potter style glasses "To make sure no one can know it's me Mom".

My home used to be a place of sanctuary... now I feel that most days I have woken up in a mental ward that is ran by the patients. But I play along because the last thing I want is for my son to feel that he has to be like everyone else to make it in the world. I get rewarded by extremely enthusiastic hugs and kisses that take my breath away. It is quite a feeling to walk into my living room and have to catch a flying monkey-child who has launched himself off the top of the couch at me cause he decided he must have a hug "right now!".

He drives his sisters up the wall. They are 11 and 13, so they tend not to have as much fun in his world as he does. How do boys learn to be such amazing little brothers when there is no one to learn the annoying attributes from? Must be a DNA thing. I hear complaints about him at least 5 times a day and I have to bite my tongue so I don't laugh at them.

Kids..... I never really thought I wanted any until I had them; but now that I do, I guess they can stick around.

Until later all...

Dar

How on Earth did this happen!

I turned 34 this week and it made me think..... How in the hell did I get so old! I can still remember thinking that my life was going to end (at least socially) the moment I turned 21. Now I am 13 years north of that land mark and I can't help but want to find a time machine and kick my younger self in the butt. Sure, I might have a few more curves than I did at 17 and, unfortunately, a LOT more gray hairs that I am waging a vicious battle against.... but I am actually having a lot of fun growing older. All day on my birthday, people kept joking with me about "Being 29 again" and I must have said "Actually, I am quite proud to be 34" at least a hundred times.

I don't understand why women try to deny their true age... .Come on ladies!!!!! You should be proud to be you! Proud of every wrinkle, every curve, and - yes ladies I do mean this one- every stretch mark. I have 3 kids. I have my share. Do I wish I didn't? I would love to be like all those genetically gifted women who can have a baby and throw a bikini on a half hour later!! But I am not. I am far from perfect, but my body tells the story of my life.... the good and the bad.

I guess I could be a glass-half-empty jerk and gripe about how much I miss my twenties, but then I would be lying through my teeth. My twenties was spent changing diapers, banging my head against a wall while trying to find a magic solution for my mothers drinking problem, and trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I got all growed up. There are days when I wake up and feel 80, but most of the time I am just happy to be me at the moment I am at. I am still a ways away from a senior discount card and I can still go out and dance all night long without griping about the music being played by a DJ that just graduated from high school by the looks of him.

So yeah, I am another year older. Not much wiser, a hell of a lot funnier and ready to find out what the next year has to show me and teach me. I cannot wait for next year so I can smile as I say... "It's my birthday! I am now 35!!!"

A welcome party for me!

So, here I am. Blogging as if someone in the whole wide world of the Internet might want to read what I have to say. Well, here it goes...

Hello! Darlene here. Pretty much everyone I know calls me Dar. At first it kind of bugged me, but like most things in life, it grew on me till I tell people to go ahead and call me it. I have three children. The oldest is now a teenager and all I can think of about this special hell is - A: how did my mother not kill me? and B: how can I make it through 2 more teenagers with my sanity and most of my original hair?

My life is what you would call normal, though I might classify it as more towards the boring side. I live in beautiful Central Oregon and work graveyard for a major Grocery Store, which means that I spend most of the beautiful days asleep.

I love to write almost as much as I love to read. I will read anything. Got a interesting menu?? I can spend a half an hour pouring over it. Wrote a limerick you find funny?? Send it this way! The only thing I try to stay at least 100 yards away from is romance novels. Never read Danielle Steele. Can't say I ever really want to either.

So what do I write?? Well, for those of you that love poking fun at people, you are gonna love this... I write fantasy/romance. I know! I know! I have friends that have known me for 20 years and more that find that simple sentence hilarious and make fun of me on a regular basis. Why do I write romantic books if I don't like reading them?? Because I write ones I would like to read silly!

So that is about it for my little introduction to the world of blogging. If you have gotten to the bottom of this and feel like leaving a comment, go for it! Otherwise..... see you on the flip side.

~Dar~