The end

So today is my last day of vacation and I am conflicted. On one hand I am thankful that I have a job to go back to and that I enjoy the job that I do; it is fun, the people I work with are kind of like a family and I have a job that I leave feeling I got something done! On the other hand, I feel like I am perfectly capable of having at least another week for rest and relaxation! Okay, maybe not relaxation, but another week of not having to answer to someone else is very appealing.

So why am I blogging about this? Well, I have been thinking of various types of endings we all do throughout our lives and it kind of got me down. We say goodbye to loved ones and friends, bid a fond farewell to our childhood and our innocence, leave behind fantastical dreams, say adieu to our figures or our hair and eventually.... our memories. It's the last one that makes me saddest.

I have wonderful memories of growing up and becoming a mother and the idea of them slipping away makes me want to cry. I don't want to forget the times I spent making mistakes growing up, or all of the little things that have made me, well..... me.

So how can I stop this? Sadly, I can't. There is no magic pill to stop moving forward. There is no cure for getting older and your body aging. So I shall continue to document everything - either through pictures or writing - so that when I get too old to remember the time I spent in Italy with my family, or the feel of my children's hugs; there will still be proof in the world that I was here... I existed.... I loved and was loved in return.

It is a comfort to know that there is a record of my existence beyond tax forms and paycheck stubs. To know that there are people out there that know me and can continue to let the world know that I made a difference, no matter how small it may be. I made a ripple in this massive pond of life. It's nice to know!

Heavy stuff to think of on the last day of vacation, I know. But I guess if I am  going to have an existential crisis for the simple reason that I have to go back to work again, I guess it could have been worse!

Have a great week, hug your loved ones and I will see you on the flip side!
Dar